Hello to everyone!
I’m going to try something new today. Today I want you to picture for me something you’ve seen in your life. Something that has driven you mad or something that has brought you great pleasure. It doesn’t matter which.
Now do something for me. Enter into that scene as best you can. Visualize what it felt like. What it smelled like. What it tasted like if you were eating.
Now think about what you feel — what you felt in that particular moment in your past. Were you stark raving mad or totally at peace? Where you happy or sad? What emotions bubble to the surface as you imagine yourself in that moment?
Let’s move on. What is it you feel about the way you are feeling? Is it right? Is it appropriate? Is it what you should feel in that moment or not?
What if there was no right or wrong? What if you can’t help how you feel, but in reflecting on those feelings you can learn something about yourself — about your life.
Often times feelings will reveal to us what we can’t even see ourselves. Feelings will open up for us our blind spots where we have blocked out what we don’t want to see.
God is watching, so we try to make it appropriate. We bend our will and make it something it’s not. But what if that is holding us back in our relationship with God?
What if we can’t see clearly, even when it comes to ourselves, and that is making our vision hazy when we try to look at God.
Sometimes emotions can be the key. The way to unlock what we are feeling and see it more clearly for what it is. Maybe you don’t really like your mom’s quiche or you don’t want the neighbor to slide their snow onto your grass. But you don’t say anything. You lock it up and bottle it away.
Maybe it’s something more serious. Maybe you can’t stand the way your dad treats you, but you don’t know why. You don’t know how to verbalize it, so you say it’s okay, and you move on. You push the feelings down and expect them to go away some time. But what if they don’t?
What kind of stories do you have to tell yourself to make those feelings okay? What kind of lies? What if you were honest with yourself for a moment? You don’t like the quiche, the neighbor can keep her own darn snow, and your dad — well he can keep his negative opinions to himself for once.
But that’s not how you’ve been operating for a while. You’ve gotten pretty good at shoving down the negative. Hey, everyone is saying “be positive” and “focus on the gratitude,” and aren’t you just trying?
But honesty — whether it comes from a place of mistrust or denial — is hard to find when we are putting on a face. When we are masking how we really feel.
Now that brings me to my next point — honesty is what you are striving for. Not hurtful feelings. Not lying. Not trying to make someone else feel bad, because they are inconveniencing you.
But honesty is the goal. Be honest with yourself. Let it out. And taking that one step further — be honest with God. Tell Him about your day and what ticks you off. Let Him in on the little-known-fact that you hate that snow piling up on your grass all winter so that it kills the grass in Spring. Open up to Him about your dad and how much it hurts you when he treats you like that.
In that honesty is a sweet release and a wonderful opening up of relationship. In honesty, we can bloom. We can start to see God for who He really is — not some ruling and selfish God who wants things done His way all the time, but a kind, loving God who deeply desires relationship with us — His children.
Now I’m telling you this so that you can know it’s okay to be honest. With me. With yourself. And most of all, with the Lord our God. Because He is the one who is leading and guiding us through this life, and it’s important to see Him clearly — not through a haze of what we think we should be.